random pictures

flat tire at green field, yeah let's all blame the fat person...

random random random me...

mumu... :(

huhu...

this is my favorite song...

for now...

i dunno how long it will last...

but for now, yeah...

this is eat!

KAIN!

Blurry - puddle of mud

Everything’s so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody’s empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that I’ll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?

Everyone is changing
There’s no one left that’s real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me

Oh, Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to run away

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When ya shoved it in my face?
This pain you gave to me

No, this pain you gave to me
Take it all away
Take it all away
Pain ya gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

i'm hyped

I made this music player at MyFlashFetish.com.

taal vista-este aizels boirth day bash 07 part two!

finally...


finally...


:D

mishoo ol.

Jeff jeff jeff jeff jeff...

:D

my brother...

i think he looks like the young "Joshua Jackson"

that's what i think...

what do you think?

dark pics

kinda reminds me of my chemical romance...

lol lol lol

gothic pics more likely...

i feel dead you see...

lol...

just kidding...

cut with annie (deviantart deviation name)

If you know the song i'm not talking about, then you'd know...? wha?

anyway, that's not it.

last last friday...

believe it or not... i got bumped by a jeepney.

(aizel knows half the story)

the jeepney was moving backwards, and i was behind it.

how could the driver not see me being me already? ME? have you seen me? I'm like a friggin tree? how could he friggin miss a friggin tree?

I dont get it?

I was really down that day. down in a way that i feel so numb, helpess, hopless, and what do you give, a bump in the back fror good job, i want your life now? what? did you get it? ohwell...

It felt like i've been pushed really hard, i've managed not to fall on the ground.

I didnt do anything, i just stood there, even laughed a little.

"My my... so that's how it feels like... nabanga pala ako."

when i told family members they were furious at the jeepney driver...

i  was like "hey i'm alive here?"

I couldnt help feeling down after a few couple of days.

i felt death you know? then i got fevrish. i was so down.

i had no interest in doing anything.

and now i'm sick.

last sunday.

i almost really got run over by a speeding jeepney. (again)

aint life funny?

the first one didnt get me.

and the second ones a joke saying "i'm just finishing the job"

someone's out to get me?!!! run for you're lives!!!!?

that's not it. i was down at the moment, really really preoccupied.

i didnt see it coming, and when i did, had to make the girliest gesture just not to get hit by it.

they say that in tha last moment of your life, you'd see your life flashing through your eyes.

I saw my frends...

and reality check, i'm still alive...

no ofense dude.

but hey, if this was a message from the higher power, you sure did catch my attention.

i saw the big bright yellow speeding light.

I saw my friends...

my life..

i really saw them...

and to think all this time i wanted to die, but at that moment all that a thought about was my friends and loved ones...

so much for being jaded...

so much...

so much.......

uh? what's her name again? menimenineka, menenemienimeka?! wha?!

I cant remember everything about her...

I dont have a clear memory of her face...

she was the nearest thing i had to a "real bestfriend" (when i was 8 or 9)

I cried infront of her when i got beat up...

again.... i got beat up...

once more...

yeah...

i was down on the floor...

with mud on my face...

one big disgrace. (kinda like the song right? we will we will rock yo!)

anyway...

I cried...

she was saying something like "uh, dont cry, i'm here, i'm here"

as a kid...

it weirded me out..

i mean really...

freaked out big time...

blocked her out...

defensive little sofia...

back then, i thought something like "omg, only my mum can say that."

and now i may say "OMG, i'm that jaded even at that age?"

the real question is "do you have a heart?"

you say, "Nah, you're just gay.."

(LESBO SENSES TINGLING)

atleast i realized something...

i really liked her...

I ma. anna sofia alvir am capable of loving a person...

i really did....

i swear...

even fought for her if my memory is not playing games with me...

this is how 9 year olds play the game...

she jumps of the bird cage(a really high really high birdcage) , and i go crazy insane trying to catch her... i dont let her fall... and i actually do catch her, but i do have a slight memory of actually seeing her cry because i left her...

maybe...


just maybe...


we'd still have that friendship if i didnt leave LBAS...


Maybe she'd be like the "BEA" I will never meet if i stayed there...

I was 9 when i left that place, i cant help wondering what couldve happened if i stayed.

maybe i'd go like act in more plays or something( i was miss tea pot excuse me ehem ehem)

maybe i never found music...

maybe i'd be like my friends from around here... (we were supposed to dance in the tune of what was that? "i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world" <- that)

or i dunno, maybe be one of the cool kids having all the ight friends and right food (mcdonalds namely)

maybe turned into a real girly girl, or the boy a claim to be (lol)

maybe i'd have my own scooter (cheap ba?)

maybe i dont like coffee. (nu ba 3p nilang inumen?)

anyway...

maybe that's enuff...

truth is, she's a beauty queen dude!

the nine year old friendie...

i just want the friendship back, you know?

it could be nice...

besides...

i really miss the dude, cick, whattever....

blog blog blog (my breath smells like beer, i wonder)

A post for Marlette Sandino...

a non-existing person...

magsama silang lahat sa utak, bahala na sila...

anyway...

here's the part that i decided to place here...

-------------------------

There was always a Martin and Marla. The perfect couple, the big screen, and then he came along, His name was Matteo Veducci. We all know Matteo Veducci from my previous posts, but this story aint about him, it’s about a person he loves. Marlette Sandino.

 

Just a little background on Matteo before we begin. After a week long trip to Hong Kong together with his sister, he went back to Italy.

 

He went there because of his unknown condition. It was mistaken to be asthma, but it turned out to be something more severe. He went there in search for a cure, he went everywhere in search for it. His days weren’t running by hours anymore, every second counts they say.

 

Out of faith, out of love, out of everything, he was lost and decided to go back home. Then in a weird twist of fate, he met a girl, which was Sandino, Marlette Sandino.

 

She was known as the good girl back in the place where she belongs. She was half Italian just like Matteo; she had the face of a fallen angel, pretty but troubled.

 

Matteo can easily read people, just like him, she can do the same, and the only problem is that their immune to one another. They were completely strangers to one another.

 

She flirted with him, it didn’t work, she kissed him and he didn’t take advantage of her. He looked at her, she didn’t look back, he wanted to speak she wasn’t listening. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, but God had other plans…

 

They both had secrets they kept, including the vibe they felt when they met. She kissed him again, and he gave in, but pulled back. “You’re with someone else.” Matteo said. “So?” she asked. “You’re dying.” She said. “It’s a pity kiss, don’t worry.” Matteo froze. “Wait… How did you know?” Matteo asked. “I can see it in your eyes.” She said. “It was just like when I realized I was dying.” She said. “Realized?” Matteo asked. “Yeah…” she said. “For a guy, you talk too much, you know that?” She complained. “Well you’re drunk, come on I’ll send you home. Do you know where you live?” He asked. “No, I don’t live anywhere.” She said. “Let’s sleep in your place.” She said, standing up Matteo’s car. Matteo stood silent staring at her. “How old are you?” Matteo asked. “I’m 23…” she seductively said. “Come on, let’s go home.” Matteo said, carrying her down from the car, then she puked on his shirt. “Great.” He said.

 

The next day, Marlette woke up and she realized that her clothes were gone, and screamed. “Why?! What happened?” Matteo went inside. “Where am I, where are my clothes?” She asked. “And where are yours?” she complained. Matteo scratched his head. “First of you were too drunk to remember anything from last night. You puked on my shirt and puked on yours more than you puked on mine. You claimed to be homeless and wanted to crash here. And oh, welcome to my garage.” Matteo said. “ohh…” Marlette realized. “Did I somehow kiss you or…” Marlette asked. “ Did something, anything happen?” Matteo smirked “Well aside for you making a big mess out of my car and kissing me more than once, nothing more happened.” Matteo said. “so.” She said. “Where are my clothes?” she asked. Matteo pointed towards the window her already half dried clothes. “Oh, can I borrow something to wear while I wait for them to dry.” She requested. “So, you like bossing people around.” Matteo asked. “ No.” she replied. “Oh.” Matteo smiled. “Why are you smiling, stop smiling, I’m half naked for God sakes.” Marlette said. “Here…” Matteo threw a shirt.  “I’m with MATTEO!” Marlette read. “Whose Matteo?” asked Marlette. “well…” Matteo tried. “Seems like a loser. Oh well.” Marlette wore the shirt. Matteo fell silent and sat on one corner. “So what’s your name?” asked Marlette, Matteo kept quiet, he was hurt, emotionally, I mean really, he hates being called a loser, already too much from the past, and the present time. “Oh my… you’re not Matteo are you?” Marlette had reality check. “I’m…” Marlette tried. “It’s alright, you can call me Raphael.” Matteo coughed his pride out. “Uhhh Ruffles?” Marlette pronounced. Matteo fell silent once more. “ohhh, okei, I’ll just call you Matteo then.” Marlette said. “I’m Marla Sandino.” Marla stood up. “Do you have shorts I can barrow?” she asked. “Yeah sure, I’ll be right back.” Matteo said and walked out, took a deep breathe and searched.

 

Marla was so proud of her self, but felt a bit bad about kissing Matteo, but, she liked it anyway, but, it’s still wrong, she was in a relationship with a guy she truly loves, but she can’t stop her self from doing things she loves more than her boy friend himself. She likes to cheat life… It’s her only way out, to cheat. The only thing a human could ever ask for is to love and be loved in return as a famous movie said. It’s all she wants. She was gazing upon the art on Matteo’s garage walls, it was painted by a girl named Samantha.

 

“Got one.” Matteo went back in. “Who’s Samantha?” asked Marla. “The heart breaker.” Matteo smiled. “Seems like you really liked her, what happened?” Marla asked. “Well, now that you asked nothing happened, I just loved her that’s all.” Matteo smiled once more. “So, how old are you now?” asked Marla. “I’m 24…” Matteo Smiled again, and again and again. “Wow you’re old.” Marla said. “Well you’re just a year younger.” Matteo replied with a smile. “ Well I lied.” Marla said, staring at the painting as Matteo’s smile began fading away. Matteo kept on looking at her looking at Sam’s painting. He definitely likes her, and so did she. But he hated it how she’s so unpredictable, and so taken.

 

Later that day, Marla’s clothes went dry already. “So what do you do for fun?” Marla asked. “I drive.” Matteo said. “Driving aint fun, it’s tiring.” Marla complained. “Well you’re not me.” Matteo complained. “Well how about you?” Matteo asked. “I party, with a driver with me, I don’t drive my self.” Marla was so proud of her self. “Admit it, you don’t know how to drive.” Matteo teased. “Excuse me, but I can race you to that.” Marla laughed, felt a little self conscious a bit hungry and strangely attracted to Matteo. Matteo fell silent once more Marla reminding him of his present life, drag, drunk, band loser boy. Then rain fell hard. “I should get going now if I still wanna go home.” Marla joked. “Yeah, go home homeless girl.” Matteo teased as he drove her to the nearest terminal. He watched her walk away then shouted. “I’ll be seeing you again right?” Matteo asked. “We’ll see…” Marla replied.

 

Months passed and Matteo was bummed with misery girl Marlette Sandino, it was sad really. He couldn’t stop thinking about the girl, which was obviously not thinking of the same thing. She was the girl version of Matteo, well the old Matteo maybe. Ever since he knew about his heart condition and Samantha heartaches, Matteo changed. He changed a lot that he was even speaking to his father again. He fixed every single detail of his life only to ruin it again, with merely a girl that only the old Matteo can have, or understand.

 

He almost gave up and realized he was driving again, driving for his life. He was running away again, he was losing his life again, he was being his old self once more. He was living it like how he used to. Then he saw Vanessa. His once love attraction. “Hey Theoots.” She smiled. “Ness… I dunno what to do anymore… I’m hopeless.” Matteo said. “Remember how you got here?” Vanessa asked. “Well, I drove here.” Matteo said. “No, I mean, here, how did you end up here, in this life style. It’s so you Matteo, but, you don’t seem to like it as much as you think you’re showing us you do.” Vanessa said. “Us?” Matteo asked. “Yeah, us, your friends. We care about you Theoots, but you don’t seem to care about your self. Take a break, find out what you want.” Vanessa suggested. “You’re the best ness.” Matteo smiled. “Well that’s new.” Vanessa noticed. “What is?” Matteo asked. “You don’t smile a lot. Smile more, you look better.” said Vanessa. “Really…” Matteo wondered. “Cute even” Vanessa teased. Matteo wondered even more…      

 

Matteo recalled what Vanessa told him, and traced back the lines he didn’t seem to notice… He left his car and took a walk. He walked for hours and realized that he was in front of his old school. “I didn’t get to finish it ei?” Matteo thought. “I hope I’m not to old for this.” Matteo kept on walking. Matteo enrolled and easily passed, and he was in. “I’m back to school Rie!” Matteo yelled on his phone. “What? Are you serious?” Ryan asked. “Did I hear him right? Are you really going back to school?” Corned beef over heard the conversation. “Yeah, you guys better help me out here okay!” Matteo said. “What are you taking?”  Ryan said stealing the phone from Corned beef. “Hello?” Ryan asked. It seemed like Matteo hung up on the other line. “You???” Matteo asked himself, seeing Marla Sandino walking around the campus. Marla was on shock her self. “You go here?” Matteo broke the silence. Marla froze not being able to say anything. “Marla!” a guy went from behind her. Matteo fell silent. “Who is he? Do you know him?” he asked. “I…” Marla was still frozen and speechless. “Have we met before, my name is Martin.” Martin offered his hand, Matteo shook it, “I’m new here.” Matteo said, almost staring looking away. “Ohhh… Well enjoy the premises. Let’s go Marla.” said Martin. Matteo just stood there staring at them both, he never felt worst than shit before, not until now, he was shit. Marla kept on looking back trying not to look more than a second, but it’s not working, she was staring already.

 

And that’s how it happened. That’s how Matteo met Sandino now let’s begin Marla Sandino’s story.

Random shit

the plant near aizels hows...

this was taken 12 noon...

really hated the weather that day.

Most of my old drawings... the Gothic days of moi.

most of them are dark...]

not meaning it's evil...

anyway...

anyway...

here goes..

recording session at my house(long time ago)

I was able to save the pictures...

but the recordings, no... sorry for that...

anyway, hope we would record some more songs...

what do you think?

aren't they the cutest thing ever?

this was the day, the sacromance was born...

jeizel's the only high school girl...

she still rocks doesn't she?

oh well, i better catch up with some sleep...

later dudes...

no sleep........... again...

here i am before you... still awake... sleepless in laguna...

i wanted to write something....

i just cant seem to remember what i wanted to write in the first place...

I watched desperate house wives again, i watched the season one i didnt complete months ago... And there walked Felicity Hoffman (aka lynette scavo)...

she reminded me so much of my friend Aizel... i dunno, maybe it's just because of the way she speaks, or she acts... i dunno, or maybe it's just because of the way she speaks her mind, on how she's frank about most things...

here are some difference between them

Aizel

-not married (yet)
-has no children (yet, but maybe a few imaginary ones)
-has no job (again, yet)
-she lives with her mum.
-she's 17
-she paints
-she rocks
-she listens to rock music (hot!!! sorry guys, she's taken)
-she has paint stains on her clothes
-she studies intirior design (way cool! i know, right?)

Lynette Scavo (felicity hoffman)
-She's married
-has four children
- works in an advertising company
-she has her own house
-not sure how old she is
-i have no idea what music she likes
-maybe she has baby food stains
-maybe studied advertisng, the hell i knoe.

anyway, i'm just klling time....

and my god, the sky is red...

"it's the end off the world!!! run for you're lives" (running in circles screaming, then hit's the door, faints)

april(trash)

I'm boring my self again...

so here i go...

i'm gonna write something... I swear...

I'm downloading avril songs... from her first album, cause my copy is still with LYNETTE REYES!

anyway... since i've mentioned avril... i made a song for her...

originaly... it was entitled trash... but thanks to bea with the whole stereo typical speech, she gave the perfect title for it, i asked her to sing it cause her voice is almost like avrils... even better in times... and i dunno what i'm talking about any more.. so the lyrics? Please?!

April
sacromance

Cause you threw me away,
for someonce you call better
and now i'm falling bitter everyday,
with this words i cannot say to you

please stay, cause i can do much better
i can be your shelter from the stormy weather
i can do much better, am i too much better?

The clock ticks and it's you inside my head
my heart beats but it's you who keeps me daed
and i dont wanna know when to stay or go
cause it could be my only shelter

the rain drops and i dunno when it would stop
the flood breaks as you've gained control my heart
you're such a friendly foe, with my heart in your control
the rain floods my only shelter

so bare with me, i singing please

Cause you threw me away,
for someonce you call better
and now i'm falling bitter everyday,
with this words i cannot say to you

please stay, cause i can do much better
i can be your shelter from the stormy weather
i can do much better, am i too much better?

-to be continued

Listen to April trash

this is what i wrote in Deviantart.

we are what we are...

we wear what we want...

we write what we want...

this is the pink pulse that never dies...

it runs through our vanes...

we are not so different from each other...

the chick revolution..

let's rock our faces out!

let's rock and roll...

model: Bea and Carmen.

i love them.

pink pulse<==the sisterhood (nyak!)

i'm not mopping for your affection!!!

 This is the outcome of a few ours of sleep stinky fish and crappy mornings!!!

 

I love my mom she saved some fish for me… I felt unwanted yet again being around the “uninvited” and believe me, they are getting to my last nerves, and that has never happened before… I have a really long patience for a kid, and they might have no idea what I’m saying right now, but I’m sparing them the tragedy…

 

I’m suffocated for far too long now, but still I found ways to breathe (mum) all for her I save them the trouble…

 

They don’t even own this house, this is our house, and they are very much welcome to leave anytime they wish to, but don’t you dare cross the line! My line, my line of privacy, my private line, feel free to annoy me in anyways; just don’t ask me to clean your mess up.

 

I’m feeling crappy today for them asking me to mop the floor them doing their part already. Well, I didn’t see anything, for me they did nothing, nothing changed, only mum does everything around here, not you, don’t you dare claim the reward you don’t earn, don’t bite on the food not yours unless you think you’re worth it.

 

Don’t act clean unless you have better proof than I do. It’s like telling people they can’t smoke, because they’ll die sooner or later, but being a smoker doesn’t make you any less of a person. You might be a smoker but at least you have your reasons, you’ll stop, but what about them, what’s their excuse for being who they are… (don’t give me the whole “you’re still young” speech crap, I’ve heard it far too many times already, let this be my post)

 

You think I’m not doing anything, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m not Mopping for the affection I don’t lack, I don’t want to please you, because you don’t need the pleasing, and you’re not welcome for making my life miserable as it is today. You act as if you own the place, you move freely us not complaining, you control every single thing, you even own the damn car, I know were family, but isn’t there a too much in “family”. Isn’t there a time when you say enough is enough? Because honestly speaking, I’m sick of your nagging, sick of your yelling, sick of your bossing, and I don’t really like you that much.

 

I don’t like you.

 

Don’t you get it? Were not the ones who should adjust to your likes, it’s you who should, cause this is our house in the first place,  lower your pride once in a while, where saving you all the family DRAMA for god sakes. Save us some slack. Work your ass up! And quit calling mum a maid, quit it. Just do…

 

I’m not mopping for your affection.

 

Quit bothering me…(wont last long) I’m gonna mop later on when you leave.

 

Gimme a break… I’m the kid… and YOUR’E NOT MY MOTHER!!!

 

Don’t take what’s not your’s…

 

I wouldn’t wanna call you a thief now.

 

Don’t steal me!

 

 

 

no peeking (close your eyes if ever)

you're not invited to view this...

so please, just close your eyes and go back to your home page...

thank you...

LOL